When we loose someone we love, especially to something that many people think was “preventable,” we often blame ourselves and find our self wondering if we could have prevented their death. I see so many of my clients plagued with this guilt. Maybe they lost a child to a drug overdose, someone to a suicide, or a spouse to a heart attack.

It is only natural and part of the grieving process to think, “Should I have done” or “Could I have done..” questions. But, for those of you who unfortunately have went through this process, you know that guilt builds up and eats away at you. You spend days, months, or years replaying scenarios over in your head and thinking about ways that you could have changed the outcome.

But today, I want you to let the guilt go. When someone dies, whether they say it was preventable or not, it simply means that his or her job on earth was fulfilled. We are all given a “job” when we are born, and once that is complete, you are called home.

I always say to my clients that, “If I am told certain information, I will tell you. You are meant to know. If I am not told the information, then you we not meant to know.” The same goes for everyone. If you were meant to prevent someone’s death, than you WOULD have done it, automatically. You would have known what to do without even questioning it because a higher power would have intervened and helped you help that person. I will say it again: if that person was meant to live on this earth longer, there would have been an intervention from a higher power.

But I also hear many of my clients state that they had a feeling something was going to happen, or perhaps they saw something unsettling in a dream. That, my friends, can be a way of God preparing you. We all handle death and grief in a different way; and if we need something, God will give it. With that being said, I am not saying that all dreams are visions into the future- we dream about our fears and our hopes in life too. That is why you cannot keep blaming yourself; sometimes there is no way of knowing.

Think about all of those times with your loved ones that you encountered “close calls.” Maybe you avoided a car accident at the last second or you ended up staying home for some reason instead of driving when all of a sudden, heavy snow hits. These are ways that a higher power worked through you and you knew what to do- without ever really knowing something bad was going to happen until after the fact. That is because it was not anyone’s time to go.

It is so hard to loose someone. But today, try and start to heal. Your loved one would want you to do just that. Take comfort in the fact that he or she is looking down on you, helping you, and guiding you. And know that they are with you always…

Blessings to you all,

K

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